Compatible What?

Well, at very least, finding people for sexual relations, potential spouses, but almost as important, finding friends, especially one best friend of your own sex or whatever sex you are NOT attracted to sexually.

But by Compatible What? I mean more than that. I mean finding jobs that are really suitable, places to live, even blogs to read.

Personally I need to find a friend, but that is not what matters to me the most. I want to find someone who Understands The Problem.

I have written about this and written about this and written about this, but nobody seems to understand that:

1. The best person in 1,000,000 is just barely good enough. Everyone has at least 6 independent attributes that they could evaluate on an scale from 1 to 10, or to put it another way, everyone has at least 32 independent attributes that can be binary, yes or no, true or false. To think you can satisfy those attributes from a pool of less than 1,000,000 candidates is just plain wrong.

2. Dating services do not do matching, as they claim to do, they are at best search engines. Anyone who uses search engines regularly should know that only the easiest searches produce good results right away.

3. There are so many people in this world, billions of them, that there must be good matches for everyone, but your odds of finding a good enough match any important social relationship worse than the odds of winning the lottery.

4. There are genuine solutions or at least very good approximate solutions to all these problems, but they will not be found and implemented until someone takes the problems seriously.

5. You can read newsmagazinex, daily newspapers, watch television, even get a college education, without any of these problems being even mentioned, let alone discussed.

6. Almost all the problems addressed in such media are deeply rooted in compatibility issues. Drugs, for example. People with truly close friends an other important relationships are much less likely to feel the need for drugs and alcohol. They are much more likely to give up substance abuse with the help of compatible other people. Some problems are obvious:
divorce, domestic violence, children growing up without a true and healthy family environment. Other problems are less obvious but can clearly be dealt with in a good social environment. Parents who tell their children not to fall in with a bad crowd are right. Having the wrong friends leads to trouble, leads to crime.

7. Self-help books make things worse. They focus on better communication, which means how to improve bad social relationships. Just don’t do that. Don’t communicate better with the wrong people, find the right people.

8. As of this moment there is no reliable or even marginally effective way of finding the right people. But we can change that.

Well, that’s enough for now. Rccommended reading on how social problems develop in a poor social environment: What Came Before He Shot Her, by Elizabeth George.

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